Aberdeen City Council defend destruction of St Fittick’s park in Local Development Plan as part of new “Moneyocracy” governance strategy
Aberdeen City Council (ACC) have defended the inclusion of the controversial Energy Transition Zone (ETZ) in their Local Development Plan which is set to destroy a valuable greenspace in the economically deprived area of Torry. A council representative explained that the decision is part of a new governance framework they are calling ‘Moneyocracy’.
“Moneyocracy is basically where we pair up with rich people and let them make decisions for us. It’s the same as the Greek concept of plutocracy: government by the wealthy, but we felt that needed a rebrand for the modern era. We also considered calling the strategy ‘ACC gonna make bank’ and ‘Mo’ money, mo’ governance’.”
Aberdeen City Council and the Port of Aberdeen went into partnership with Scottish Enterprise and ETZ to fund the plans for the destruction of St Fitticks Park. Accusations of lack of accountability, transparency and due process dog the rezoning of St Fittick’s Park in Aberdeen City Council’s Local Development Plan. The Energy Transition Zone was included in the Local Development Plan by the council very late in the consultation period meaning the public did not have adequate time to comment on it. This contravenes planning law which stipulates communities must be engaged in a meaningful way on local development plans.
ETZ is chaired by renowned Aberdeen based oil billionaire and Guinness world record holder for most Babybel cheeses held in one’s mouth while singing the soundtrack to The Sound of Music, Sirian Woodenhead. The Aberdeen City Council representative explained that Sirian was key to their moneyocracy strategy.
“We had a meeting with him, and the guy has diamonds, like actual diamonds, on his shoes. He’s not flashy about it, they’re on the soles so you can see them when he kicks democracy in the face. He’s like the Batman of making money. In 2011 his company Wooden Group transferred North Sea staff to an offshore company to avoid paying tax. I mean that’s just smart.”
Aberdeen City Council launched an 8 week public consultation period on the “Masterplan” for the ETZ from the 29th June. Council representatives stressed that democracy was still important in the process:
“We at Aberdeen City Council like democracy. Really we do. But we’re aware it has flaws. People in Torry want to keep St Fittick’s park intact because they love spending time in it, and all the wildlife it holds, and the carbon stored in soils and trees, and ecosystems service it provides in filtering waste from nearby industrial sites. Those things just don’t have a place in the moneyocracy strategy. The ephemeral, spiritual power of nature is really hard to monetise. Sirian has a bottle of champagne once owned by Marie Antoinette’s personal dog groomer he’s saving for when the bulldozers go in. It’s gonna be lit.”
The public consultation is an opportunity for the local community and interested parties to voice their views on the project. Though Aberdeen City Council are optimistic about its prospects:
“We’re psyched about Sirian’s vision for the park. We don’t quite understand what the plans are yet. But he assured us it’s gonna be great.”